You are not alone. We were all born equal, as innocent plush dolls reminiscent of children's toys. Some of us are born into the sea of disparity, victims from birth of adverse conditions. Some of those conditions include being born into minority groups who historically are underrepresented and discriminated against, many of us born into families suffering from severe economic oppression, some of us were born to parents suffering from mental illness, alcoholism, drug addiction, or parents with long standing violent criminal histories. Some of us have been lucky enough to be born into families of wealth and success, finding ourselves from a young age struggling to fit the roles and meet the expectations set before us. And some of us are born with chronic illness and various forms of mental, intellectual, medical and physical disabilities that negatively impact our physical, emotional, educational and personal growth as children.

  Some of us have suffered endlessly as a result of the conditions we were born into, and as a result of the impact those conditions have had on our lives. As a result of those environmental conditions some of us have suffered violent forms of child abuse, child sexual abuse, physical and sexual violence as adults, emotional trauma, and physical disabilities. And for one reason or another some of us eventually find ourselves using, abusing, addicted to alcohol, illicit or prescription substances. A few of the reasons some of us have used include; as an escape from the emotional and physical suffering, as a means to control how we really feel, in a vain attempt to control the outcome, and sometimes, just as an escape.

 The most important part of finding yourself having been victimized, is to realize you don't have to be a “victim” forever. After acknowledging you are a victim, recognizing you are NOW a survivor is the crucial key to overcoming the trauma, the physical and emotional pain and any long standing difficulties resulting, such as social isolation, emotional instability, depression, eating disorders, substance abuse/addictions and the negative economic effect of all of the above. I have struggled with fainting, involuntary vomiting, migraines, nightmares, and post traumatic stress as a result of the crimes committed against me before I was old enough to read, drive, or work. 

  By admitting you ARE a victim, and making a VOW to yourself to BECOME a SURVIVOR, you will help yourself avoid being revictimized. One of the most devastating facts about being subjected to child physical and sexual violence is that as adults-we subconsciously seek out replacements for the people we loved so much that hurt us so deeply. That means, we are likely to spend the rest of our lives being beaten and raped until finally we are killed in the same manner we were brought into this world. That person could at some point be you, your daughter, your mother, or your sister. Even sadder is that many gender based incidents of violent crimes are “generational.” The facts increase the probability your own daughter will suffer just as you did. The stats on being victimized again-more than 57% go on to experience interpersonal violence as adults, which means more than half of us will spend the rest of our lives being beaten, raped and repeatedly abandoned not only by family members and friends, but society as well. At least until some kind stranger finds us face down-ass up in a ravine having been savagely raped and strangled or stabbed.

  You need to stop labeling yourself as a victim and label yourself as a SURVIVOR. You can start the healing process by not making excuses for yourself and admit, “there is NO escape from the memories that will forever haunt you.” You have to accept this injured part of yourself as a part of who you are and who you will become. No, it isn't fair, but no one has ever said life is fair. In reality, humans are no less animals than animals. Animals violate each other physically and sexually in their endeavor for survival yet none of them ever make the claim of suffering from mental trauma that causes them to use or abuse drugs and/or alcohol and/or cause injury to themselves.

  You may not realize this now, but you ARE already a survivor! Most of us are willing to die to become what we have been expected to become in spite of the circumstances (and the reason you use or abuse substances.) The fact you are willing to die to be what you need to be is PROOF you ARE a SURVIVOR! We have been misled to believe illicit and prescription drugs and alcohol will make us-richer, happier, thinner, more successful, more confident, convince others that the past never happened and we are free from imperfections, allow us to sleep, and provide us with the energy we need. If you are one of these misled people, someone needs to tell you this now, IT IS A LIE! You really will die! And where will the world be without you? We need you, each and every one, to come forth and tell your stories! Help us expose the truth in crimes targeting women because they are women! 

There is NO ESCAPE and there are NO EXCUSES! There will never be any kind of escape from the truth, from what happened, and the closest you will ever get is the amount of time it will take you to grow strong enough to accept the truth and grow from it. Anything less than accepting the facts and the truth for what they are is merely wishful and fruitless thinking.

  You are not alone! The number of women trying, using, addicted to and overdosing on alcohol and drugs is on the rise. How did we get here? Well, to understand this we could start by taking a look at the articles in this website. What I am telling you, whatever they are, your excuses are just not good enough! IF you love yourself, or at least want to learn to love yourself, the time to take a stand is NOW! Get out there and fight for your damned lives ladies! Most of us have never witnessed a fight where a drunk or drugged person wins in the end. Get sober and get back up onto your feet!

  When you find the strength to pull yourself to a standing position, just as I did at at 2 years old finding myself waking up face down in the dirt in a field after having been raped, stabbed, and my body dumped in a field, grab a computer and send us your anonymous stories, put the subject line in your header, “Hooked! A Fish Lost In The Sea of Disparity!”    Email us at;  damselsunited@gmail.com